KFern here!  It’s Friday and that means I am going to spill a little about myself in the hopes of helping you all out a little bit.  (There is a scary thought.)  Friday Konfessional is a weekly spot where I will talk about the real, the bad, the good, the ugly, the amazing – ANYTHING that’s going on in this DA girl’s life so that you can learn along with me. (HB will chime in from time-to-time as well I am sure!)

First, you should know that I am the most stubborn, head strong, passionate person there is.  As much as I would like to believe that I was born this way, I have to attribute many of my “bullish” ways to my long list of “life lessons.”   The joke in my office is that I am a “man-eater.”  I earned the nickname one day while I was on the phone, fully utilizing what I call my “assertive voice.”  It’s not that I am mean, but over the course my life I have developed very little tolerance or patience for games.  I know what I want, when I want it and believe doing whatever I can to get “it.”  I can, at times, be cranky and sharp; especially when I feel people are not taking me seriously.  In many regards, these characteristics are why I have been successful in my career, my athletics, and my friendships.  However, in my “relationships,” it has had the opposite effect.  I have to admit that while in every other area of my life I am fairly fearless, when it comes to guys – I get scared. 

I share this because I KNOW there are more of you out there like me.  You are the guys’ girl; you have more guy-friends than girl friends.  You basically have a bunch of brothers, and nine times out of ten, when you meet a new guy you instantly friend zone them.   You are the MASTER friend-zoner; you talk sports, you point out all your hot friends, and you take shots of whiskey like a pro.  But, there is that one guy, the one you don’t want to friend zone.  You like him but you don’t know what to do.  You are torn between what comes easily to you and the unknown.  Trust me – I feel you.  So what do we do?  Well, I don’t have all the answers yet.  BUT there are a few things I do that I shouldn’t (and you shouldn’t either.)

1. I ASSUME EVERY GUY IS THE SAME.  Don’t assume every guy is the same.  Yes, the down side of having a million guy friends is that you inevitably know more than you want to about their bad habits.  BUT, not all guys are created equal.  If there is one thing I have learned over the years, it is that some guys do change when the right girl comes along.  Until a guy gives you a reason to NOT trust them, then you have to trust them.  So, just because you have constructed some weird reason why your dude must be a player, don’t use it as an excuse.
2. I TRY TOO HARD WHEN I AM NERVOUS.  Be yourself.  I am the WORST at this.  My guy friends call me out about this fault constantly and I am so grateful for them.  Anyone who REALLY knows me knows: 5 days out of the week I am completely make-up free, 4 days out of the week my hair is in a ponytail or bun, 7 days out of the week I will be sweaty at SOME point in the day, I am awkward, I laugh uncontrollably all the time, and I am dork.  Don’t get me wrong, I can pull off the Barbie doll look just as well as the next girl, but it’s not really me.  As my best friend once told me, “just be 100% Kristina 100% of the time, and someone worthy of your time will take notice.”  Make this your motto.  Trust me, it is hard to not be yourself for very long. (Besides, you’re a DA girl… you have WAY to many other things going on to have time to be fake.)
3. I DON’T ALWAYS SAY EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN OR WHAT I WANT.  Don’t be afraid to say exactly what you want to.  As I said in the last post, “guys hate games.”  They really hate games.  If you have something to say, SAY IT.  Don’t beat around the bush by sending a million coded text messages, this only drives the guy crazy and makes him want to have nothing to do with you.  I know it can be terrifying to say how you actually feel, to put yourself out there and break down your wall – but this is a “go big or go home” situation.  Plus, like ripping off a band-aide, being direct will either get you a positive or negative reaction, which is what you are looking for.
4. I CAN BE SARCASTIC AND PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.  Don’t be passive aggressive when you don’t get the response you want.  This is NOT the time or place to be a hard-a$$.  I said it before, I’ll say it again (and maybe it’ll finally sink into my head): relationships are not about out-smarting anyone.
5. I HAVE A HARD TIME ADMITTING I MESSED UP.  Know when you are wrong and make amends.  If you end up doing any of the above, or mess up any other way, know when to swallow your pride and apologize.  If you went crazy and sent twenty texts, don’t get defensive when you get called out for being psycho (just accept you had a crazy girl moment.)  You messed up and you need to apologize with one text OR one phone call.  (Then put your phone on time out for a few days.)
6. I TAKE IT PERSONALLY.  Last, but not least, don’t take it personally (or as a failure) if the guy you like doesn’t like you back.  Think about it, you have had your heart broken before, you probably thought life wouldn’t go on… but you are here reading this blog, so clearly you lived.  Think about it this way, you don’t end up liking every guy you meet; it’s only fair that the reverse be true too.   I know this is hard, TRUST ME – I know.  Fact is, as much as we like to control every other area of our lives… we can’t really control this part.  (That was hard for me to admit.)

Alright DA ladies, whether you are single, attached, married, or just going through life with your head in the clouds (it’s pretty nice up here);  HAVE AN AMAZING WEEKEND.   Remember, not everything will go according to plan and that is ok, call an audible and adjust!  You got this.